And Lastly, Love. The silver lining, the icing on the cake, the cheesy cliche. It goes something like this:
You see or meet someone for the first time and decide whether or not they’re worth some interaction. You might compliment their shoes, engage in small talk, and go your separate ways. You might not even think twice about them. But if the universe knows what it’s doing, and it always does, you’ll cross paths again. You have a real conversation, exchange numbers, and stay in touch. Eventually you go on a date, and then a few more. Whether or not you want to admit it, something is continuing to pull you toward this person. Time goes by and you decide whether or not they’re worth keeping around, all the while waiting for something great. You’re in the dark but you feel something coming to break up your sky.
In my opinion, letting go is more burdensome than loss for the simple fact that loss is almost entirely out of your control (whether it be a death brought on by an exact thing or the universe telling you that a person is no longer serving you any purpose) and letting go is almost entirely in your control. To let go is to reach a state of mind that allows you to set a person and the feelings attached to said person free. There’s a heavy weight that gets dropped on you when you lose someone, and that weight remains until you can muster up the courage and strength to break free. People will tell you that loss gets easier with time and that’s only true because during that time (however long you may need) you learn to let go. Each day you learn to stand up a little taller, smile a little more, and open your heart a little wider.
- The importance of communication. I’m not saying that in a way that means I’ve gotten better at communication over the past year (I haven’t, because communication = talking about things I don’t want to talk about = conflict = maturity = a no-go from me). I’m saying it in the way that I’ve repeatedly seen the effects of my lack of communication in every aspect of my life this year and it’s close to the top of my self-improvement list for 2018.
- Let go of the idea of letting go. If we’re being honest, there’s no such thing as just letting things go. At least for me, letting go means avoiding closure and accepting that you haven’t accepted something and just pushing it under a rug that will eventually be rolled up to expose the shit-storm underneath. I’ve learned/am still learning that in order to truly move on from people and things, you have to accept the change, find that closure, and *drum roll* actually move on.
- Some friends aren’t meant to be in your life forever, and that’s okay. It’s been a tough pill to swallow, but friendships that you once planned on having forever sometimes just don’t last that long. I’ve learned that it’s most important to take those friendships for what they were and realize that just because it ended doesn’t mean it wasn’t beneficial/real/worth everything you gave it.
- You’re never too old to make new friends. It’s been a joke with me and my boyfriend (not supposed to be “my boyfriend and I” don’t try me on this) that if we get married I’m going to have to find more friends so our bridal-party sides equal out. While that is a joke, I also kind of keep in the back of my mind as a reminder that yeah, you can still make lifelong friends at age 22. You don’t have to have only childhood friends and only loose friendships after some certain age. I’ve met a remarkable amount of people this past year that have become very good friends, even some I would consider best friends (and bridal-party contenders when the time comes).
- Calligraphy is, like, super fun. I’ve gone balls-deep in the world of calligraphy in the past year and it’s become the therapeutic, creativity-expressing hobby that I needed.
- Traveling doesn’t have to be planned for weeks and months. This kind of randomly hit me one day and it was a moment of like, “yeah, I can take a 5-hour trip to Chicago for the weekend if I want. Let’s go to Michigan for the weekend because we
fucking can.” I’m seeing all of these people around my age traveling and me wondering how they’re affording it/planning it and I realized that they’re probably not, to either of those things. They’re just doing it.
- Make time for everyone all of the time. I have one friend in particular that, no matter if it’s a casual Monday-night dinner or big weekend adventure, says yes to coming over/along. Every single time. I’ve come to appreciate it (and her obvz) so much because she’s always willing to do whatever, whenever without hesitation, and it’s absolutely inspired me to say more yes’s.
- Life isn’t about where you are or what you’re doing, it’s about what you make of it. An important thing I’ve been learning and practicing, and it kind of speaks for itself. Just have some fun, no matter what you’re doing or not doing.
- Lists are kind of magical. Like, in their own way. It is surprising to me how much more likely I am to do something when it’s followed by a check off of a list. I’ve put a notebook in my purse recently that I write any and all things down in (in list-form of course) and I would like to think that my productivity has gone through the roof (not that it had any prior competition, I’m very much a procrastinator). Even something as simple as making a note to clean out the cat’s litter box is done quickly when I know I can cross it off the to-do list.
- Having a cat is just as great as I’d imagined it would be, and also the worst thing ever. As many of you know (or maybe not, who knows what I’ve mentioned in the two blog-posts I’ve published this year LOL) my roommate and I acquired (read: took in against his will) Oliver earlier this year and he’s been the cutest, most lovable creature who also hates me with a passion and sometimes attacks my head for no reason. Honestly, he’s great.
- There are some really good beers, wines, and coffees out there. I’ve first-hand had some of the best craft beers, the fullest wines, and strongest coffees in the last 12 months. Here a few take-aways: Bud Light and similar beers are glorified water. Starbucks’s black coffee is not, in any way, good or fresh. Lastly, in my opinion, dry wines are still too mature for my palette (we’ll try again in 2018).
- It’s okay to have the quiet, comfortable kind of love when the fireworks start to fizzle out. There’s such a stigma around that honeymoon phase and the misery that lies behind it that it’s easy to convince yourself that once the sparks go out, the love follows suit, and I’m learning that that’s not the case. I’m not saying that my relationship has gotten boring or stagnant, but it’s gotten more comfortable and I’ve learned to really value it.
- Trust the decisions you make. I’ve learned this partially through my own experiences this year but mostly through watching my friends and family go through some things, all led specifically by choices they made. I’ve watched some decisions work out for the better, some take a turn for the worst, but I’ve watched every person come out better.
- Do not underestimate the power of satisfaction through the little things. Examples: building a living room fort, getting your nails done, finding the perfect songs to get you through a workout, and cinnamon coffee.
- Eating too much food could quite possibly kill you. I’ve learned this the hard way twice this year, both after holidays where I’ve eaten copious amounts of food (because my mom is the best cook ever and who can resist) and ended up *almost* dead the next day. I’ve also come to appreciate the feeling after you come back to life and are ready to conquer the
whole fucking world.
- The importance of cooking your meals and eating your vegetables. I haven’t learned this through doing it, I’ve learned it through doing the exact opposite (and man is it starting to catch up to me).
- Life Happens. This is and forever will be on the list of things I’ve learned/am learning. Life happens when you’re happy and sad and angry, it happens while you’re sleeping and in the moment and zoning out of moments. Life is happening always and all around you, so enjoy it. Embrace the good, learn from the bad, and don’t close your eyes too long because you’ll miss out on one hell of a life.
And with that, I’ll bow to 2017 and cheers to 2018–a year I’m ready for. xx
IT’S OVER. We survived. One week after the election and here we sit. Now that we’re not having the election shoved down our throats every time we turn on the TV/social media/radio/life we can get back to the things we (I?) used to care so much about.
It’s 12:35am on a Wednesday night (Thursday morning?) and I’m awake editing a vlog of a weekend trip to Virginia Beach because I had coffee and cookies with my roommate about two hours ago (and let me tell you, caffeine works wonders on me).
First of all, HI! It’s been exactly 44 days since my last blog post and I’m not proud of that. I’m here to blog and dammit that’s what I’m going to do. I can’t justify my hiatus because quite frankly I’ve only been AWOL due to lack of inspiration and even more slack in the time management department. No life-altering changes or traumas, just my own laziness and inability to muster up my own inspiration. That being said, a lot has happened in those 44 days. This blog post is going to be a stream of consciousness (shout out to all of my Grace Helbig fans) aka I’m just going to throw-up a life update on you. So welcome to that.
Guess what? The world sucks. It sucks a lot. I find it hard to stay up-to-date with the news anymore because it’s so damn depressing, and I hate that. It’s hard to leave the house and know you have a 50/50 chance of coming back home. I hate that we’re being segregated again because of race, religion, political views, and sex preferences. It’s funny because everyone loves to talk about how far we’ve come, how much more accepting the world is now and how little race matters in today’s society, yet people are judged and bullied and killed because of something as uncontrollable as their skin color. I have some news for you–if you strip away all of that bullshit that we’re letting separate us you’ll find the same thing underneath it all: beating hearts, racing minds and the desire to be accepted as we are. Everyone has the same mechanics on the inside and therefore no one is more or less entitled to embrace who they are and therefore no one is entitled to be an asshole to anyone else. It’s that simple.